prokopetz:

More inadvisable NPCs for your Dungeons & Dragons game, royal court edition:

• A sinister advisor who constantly schemes against, well, basically everybody. It quickly becomes apparent that everyone at court knows the advisor is betraying them, and they often compare notes when the advisor isn’t around to hear. The advisor, however, has no idea, and honestly believes they’ve got everyone fooled.
   
  
• An honoured guest of the court and celebrated dragon-slaying knight who is, to all appearances, roughly nine years old. Their heroic credentials are thoroughly corroborated, and no amount of inquiry by the player characters can establish whether this is some elaborate pageantry, or whether the kid actually killed a dragon.
   
  
• An long-suffering servant who seems to be responsible for literally everything. Given the volume of work they perform and the impossible speed with which they get from place to place, the player characters may guess they’re dealing with multiple identical servants, but can never provably catch them in two places at once.
   
  
• A robed human wearing an elaborate, heavily reinforced hat which serves as a perch for a rather grumpy-looking owl. The owl is the court wizard, and the human is their personal assistant; the other members of the court regard this as perfectly obvious, and will affect shocked dismay if the player characters assume differently.
   
  
• A hulking ogre, nearly ten feet in height, garbed in a jingling fool’s cap and disconcertingly tight particoloured motley. Though their jests are often remarkably clever, they’re delivered in a humourless monotone and radiate a sense of palpable menace; however, the King inexplicably finds them hilarious, so nobody can say anything.